sam peckinpah presents

I know Victoria have no hope of winning the pura Sheffield cup Shield.

I’m not stupid, although once I spent 8 minutes trying to get my headphone jack into my ear whilst holing the earplug in the other hand.

No one is going to get over 600 runs to win a final.

It just aint possible, Don Bradman couldn’t do it, Natalie Portman couldn’t do it, and neither can Future Pm David Hussey.

But, that hasn’t stopped him trying.

Not only that, but he has managed to wake up Nick Jewell as well, who apparently wants to play one day cricket next year.

They put on 52 to runs in just under 9 overs against Bracken and MacGill.

Hussey hit two sixes in an over off MacGill, ok so that is so out of the ordinary.

But Nick Jewell hit the ball regulary off the square and played attacking cricket shots.

That has to mean something, doesn't it.

To me the whole Hussey and Jewell slogathon reminds me of the end of the wild bunch, when the outlaws all look at each other, nod and stroll calmly to their death by shedding as much blood as physically possible.

Hussey would be a great man in the wild west, he would eventually die spectacularly, but on the way he would take down about a hundred guys, and he doesn't have nearly as gay a walk as John Wayne.

I see Nick as the straigh laced gunslinger whom all the baddies think is crap, but is obviously good by the way the director shoots him.

Then he helps the hero right at the end, without getting his suit dirty.

This game is deader than Alan Ladd, but why not kick some ass on the way out.

If beating NSWales is not possible at least make their millionaires look like clowns for 5 minutes.

Or let the Huss go down with one hell of a bang.

Bryce McGain - International Man of Mystery

Apparently there are whispers around the traps that Cricket With Balls Own Bryce McGain could be a dark horse to play for Australia.

And no I didn’t start them myself, because although I think it’s a good idea, I didn’t want to be the one to jinx him. So now that it’s already circulating, I can comment without guilt.

Over at Are you a left arm chinaman they asked a rather long winded yet eloquent question about Our Bryce. So I will try and answer it as best I can.

We all know Bryce McGain is older than Jesus, but Jesus was a wicketkeeper, and they generally have to retire at a younger age. Problems with their hands and such.

Leg spinners, with the exception of Warne and now MacGill, age exceptionally well, and no one has aged better than Our Bryce.

So lets look at his chances of playing:

The positives

Is he bowling well enough to play for Australia, fu©k yeah.

Very rarely these days do Australian spinners dominate domestically. Funky was the last who springs to mind. Bryce is continually taking wickets, and getting out good batsmen, what more can the selectors ask for?

He is on track for a 40 wicket season, thems good numbers and he is bowling with the leading wicket taker in the competition at the other end.

He is the only man to derail Simon Katich this year, who as we know, is a good player of leg spin (for a crab).

Where is the first test again, oh that’s right, his home ground, boom.

He has experience on his side, not so much first class experience, but life experience that only elderly gentleman can have.

He knows his craft inside and out, and he isn’t some part timer who happens to get wickets.

There isn’t much footage of him, so who ever India’s coach ends up as, he won’t have much to go on.

He generally seems like a nice guy (how else could he become Cricket with balls Own), and since in my life I have had negative experiences with the two other alternatives, I would say he is the nicest option.

Right at the moment he is hardly bowling a bad ball, his length and flight were flawless against the New South Welshman.

Stuart MacGill is falling apart.

He can bowl all day, which against the Indians could come in handy.

The Negatives

Stuart MacGill has 200 test wickets, Brad Hogg has been playing international cricket for a long time now.

Playing your first test against India when you’re a leg spinner is like sending a goalie out to face Brazil on his first International. Laxman, Dravid, Tendulkar & Dhoni, oh my.

He has played only ten first class games, half of them this year.

Brad Hogg has taken less wickets this year than McGain, but he does have the superior average and strike rate.

He is from Victoria, so he has the wrong shade of blue cap on his head.

Shaun tait is back baby, and he so wants to knock off some Indian scalps.

Ponting likes class players, and what Ponting wants Ponting often gets. Ponting wants MacGill, if MacGill isn’t fit, then it shall be interesting to see what Ponting wants.

He is the same age as the two alternatives, so it may be fresh blood, but it aint young blood. Even if he is well preserved.

I like him, so like Craig Howard and Ian Harvey before him, that weight could be the one to sink him.

The Verdict

There are very few surprises when it comes to selection these days in Australia. Other than Shane Watson. In general the Australian selectors play it safe, Bryce is not the safe option. Kerry O’Keefe is talking him up, so now all he needs is Terry Jenner, Ian Chappell and a Rupert Murdoch paper on his side and he is really no chance.

I want to believe they are thinking of him as a realistic option, but I just can’t see him getting picked. I think if MacGill is fit, Ponting will demand him, and if not, they’ll take the man they know over the man they don’t.

But aint it nice to be mentioned.

Update, MacGill is out for the first 2 tests. It's down to Tait (pontings bag man in the wc), Hogg (the semi logical choice) or McGain (Cricket with balls Own). The choice is obvious.