the main players today

The Krab Katich – batted like he has all year, took the facebook kid nice byrce to get him out. Was in control for most of the day, but is out now, and cannot hurt us for a day or two.

Phabulous Phil – seems to have lost all touch at the moment. Lucky he had the Krab free flowing at the other end, because he was stuck in a hole, hole, holeee, and it was deep, deep, deeeeep. Siddle eventually ended his innings.

Once in a generation Clarke - looked bubbly, fresh, alive, in control and went out on tea just when his team really needed him. Perhaps he thought he was still playing for Australia where that sort of behaviour is tolerated.

Their brad – was a little flighty early on, but then he took complete control, and although he never looked like taking the game away from victoria he did look like he was gonna make it uglier. Then he went out in the last over of the day.

Brett Lee – spent all day ducking and weaving, getting hit, slashing to the boundary before Dirty dirk bowled a ripper.

Dirty Dirk – was brutal early on, pretty good with the reverse swing, and then looked tired and flat with the second new ball. But still angered one through the crease to end Lee’s day and set up Victoria for tomorrow.

Peter Siddle - is about 20 has had more shoulder operations than a centre half forward, but somehow he just picks up wickets like other people pick up socks. Another 4 today, and I’ve seen him bowl a lot better as well.

The facebook kid Nice Bryce – not his best day, but he dines on Krab tonight.

Angry man Harwood – bowled some good spells, but is still the bet when it reverse swings.

The Big bear – Captained well, no matter what the fox sports team said, and bowled pretty well. Also seemed to have a new cap on.

Our Brad – dropped catches, miss fields, falling over and generally making me laugh.

a dead rubber

The game against Queensland ended in a Victorian victory.

It was not a momentum building win, but Hussey, White and McKay all had good games.

Crosthwaite is back, which now means Victoria ticks my entire Sheffield shield winning boxes.

I have missed X, Wade never really made an impression on me, I felt we

Dirty Dirk came through well, and with Siddle and Harwood to come back we have a wide variety to choose from.

Pattinson will probably be the one to miss out. And then its out of McKay, Siddle and Harwood for the two remaining spots.

Dirty Dirk is the only obvious selection, which says a lot in his first full year in the team.

The Big Bear did make some odd decisions, such as opening the batting with a night watchman.

My thoughts on night watchman are well known but opening with one is njust a new breed of stupidity.

Now we go to Sydney and take on the Australian A eleven.

The good news is the most on form bowler will not be playing, the bad news is Lee, Clark and Bracken are replacing him.

If Hussey makes a double tonne on the first day, or Dirty Dirk takes 8 for, we can probably win.

That seems quite likely.

theres a bear in there

So the Vics lost badly.

It’s a sad story, that means not much to th scheme of human existence.

But Cameron White threw his weight around like a drunken sumo, and that lifts the heart of humanity.

He did exactly what I hoped he would do, swing away.

Alas like pretty much all Victorian games this year, we only had one batsmen find his groove.

Victoria and NSWales combined looked pretty ordinary this weekend, so take that any way you'd like,

At least NSWales, dodgy mofos that they are, will get back a barrage of test and one day players.

We might be lucky enough to get Dirty Dirk and Mr Denton, and boy do we need them.

Our current bowling line up looking rather like a eunuch.

McKay, Wise and Harwood can all bowl, but non looks likely to get out Jacques, the krab Katich, Haddin, and Clarke in a no holds barred draw to the death.

But who cares, Cam is back baby.

The Vics checklist for Victory.

Inspirational and innovative captain, check.

3 gun batsmen, check.

Bat all day grafting openers, check check.

Australia’s best Spinner, check.
Nuggetty keeper who would rip the heads off live bats to win, negative.

One gun all rounder, check.

3 fast bowlers from real life, check.

So its not all bad.

PM is great, home final is going

I understand some of you may be bored with all this talk of David Hussey.

But the dude continues to be amazing.

Today he went out at 4/129.

Nothing spectacular about that, except he bats at number 4 and was out for 84.

He seems to bat on different pitches than all his team mates.

Ofcourse all of this may mean jack and sh1t as Victoria look a very shaky 7 for 217 chasing over 400.

The good news is, Cam is not out on 50odd, the bad news is 7 batsmen are about and NSWales are grinding away against the worst first class team in Australia.

The game and the home final are slowly slipping away, and bloody Magoffin of all muppets is the one who has done it to us.

For those who don’t know, Magoffin is one of those tall for nothing WA quicks, who either bowls like Bruce Reid or Scott Muller.

There seems to be no middle ground on the guy.

Our bowlers struggled to take wickets on the first day, but someone, I’m not sure who, thought that the bowling line up looked a little flabby.

There is two days to go, but I think the home final has already left the building.

Bryce got a nice 2 wickets on the first day though, always nice to get wickets on the first day at the Waca.

Remember last year when we looked really great and all we won was 2020.

This year is starting to look eerily similar.

Feels like watching Saw, and then Saw 2.

And as much as i hated saw 2, i fu(c)king despised saw 3.

Victoria takes on the IPL

According to economists the market is the true indicator of life itself.

I think most economists are massive wankers, but since this theory suits my theory I am willing to use it.

According to the IPL auction David Hussey and Cameron White are worth more than Michael Hussey and Ricky Ponting.

Don’t give me any of that that’s because they might not be available for the whole tournament, cause neither will Brett Lee, and he still got a big bag of cash.

So the Market forces have spoken, Future PM comes in for his Brother King Probot, and Cam comes in as skipper ahead of Michael Clarke.

Simon Katich should continue to be ignored.

Ok perhaps this is a bit extreme, except the Krab Katrich bit.

But it does show the Victoria do have cricketers (and coaches) who are in demand, not in Australia, but internationally.

Even the ICL gave Ian Harvey a new mansion.

Offcourse not all Victorians were given cash, Brad Hodge was overlooked altogether.

Bradley will be picked up soon, because Loots Bosman and Ramesh Powar are playing but what about other Victorians.

Dirty Dirk Nannes – best 2020 domestic bowler, plus would be a great bollywood villain, starting price 800,00. But will need time off for snow boarding.

Andrew McDonald – Capable with either instrument, one of the most talented all rounders in the world. Also great marketing opportunity for McDonalds in India. 650,000.

Aiden Blizzard – ADD afflicted opening batsmen that has hit balls out of the Waca and radelaide oval. Headlines are easy to write. 575,000.

Bryce McGain – Blue Rinse leg spinner of unmeasurable talent. Probably the greatest leg spinner of all time, wait I’ll check, yup, best I can remember. IT specialist as well, they will come in handy in India. 525,000.

Adam Crosthwaite – improvising batsmen, and talented keeper. If not selected for his playing ability should get the nod for his commentary. 450,000.

Shane Harwood - if the IPL turns into the wrestling showcase it wants to be, who better than Harwood as the fast bowler who hates everyone, assuming he stays fit. 425,000.

Ken Piesse – with this many Victorians over there, they will need a proper cricket journalist, and who else but Ken. 150,000.

Jrod – I have already applied as chief blogger of the IPL. 900,001.

gallant

Victoria held on for a gallant draw today.

I’m not sure what a gallant draw is, but that’s exactly what they managed.

Mark Cameron and Beau Casson, absolute champions of world cricket, just scraped together 18 wickets between them.

Which is a great sign for Victoria as Cameron may not even get a Guernsey for the final.

Beau Casson took 7 wickets in the match, which probably makes him favourite for the Pakistan tour.

Lets look at what this drawn game means for Victoria.

They are now guaranteed a spot in the final. Woohoo.

Cameron White almost made back to back 50’s. Not bad.

CWB’s Nice Bryce took 5 wickets, and if he had a bit more time could have made a real mess to the NSWales tail. Conjecture.

We still have Harwood, Denton and Nannes to come back. Hopefully.

McDonald continued his resurgence from injury, taking wickets and making runs. Shane who?

Hodge and Hussey continued to be Hodge and Hussey, which is a good and bad thing. Nothing new.

Now let us forget the weird NSWales selections, their obvious cheating to get Hussey out of the side, and the fact two nobodies bowled us out on their own and look forward to taking on the Tasmanians in the Holden Barina cup.

George Bailey beware.

New Texas defeated

Ashley Noffke turned out to be more benign than I thought, and therefore the Vics won easy.

The Mc's all took wickets, the pressure they put on the Bulls was quite good, the perssure the bulls put on themselves was unbelievable. They scraped to 200odd.

Then after a small yet slightly scary collapse (3/50), Brad Hodge and Cameron white saved our @sses.

Hodge made a pretty cruisey hundred, and while he did most of the damage, White kept his huge county bat sheathed until he deemed it necessary to slog some quick runs.

And did he slog, he hit some balls that are so scra4ed the ball's children will grow up petrified.

It was a welcome return to form for both men, who while they haven't been out of form, they haven't been their usual belligerent selves.

Also good to see the Vics win easily with Future Pm David Hussey pretty much a spectator.

Clinton McKay still worries me. He just seems loose, and not the in the bimbo sense of the word, but in a fast bowling I think he can get hit for a big shot at any time.

He is getting wickets so I am happy to say this is more my issue than anyone elses, but when he takes the new ball I feel a little nervy.

Adam's helmet saves the day

I’m not going to go on and on about Victoria's very lucky win last night.

Mostly because the way they batted they would prefer me not too.

Wouldn’t want to offend anyone or bruise some egos.

I will say that they had the game completely in the grasp on a very tricky pitch but then that they batted themselves into a hole that only Crosthwaite’s helmet could get them out of.

Adam (x) charged down the wicket with 2 required with 3 balls and 2 wickets in hand and helmeted the ball away for a single to tie the scores, before Peter Siddle got the last run.

With X the Vics would have lost a game that should never have even been close.

X was booed at all times when he batted, but unlike Channel 9, Foxtel showed the boos and embraced them.

Future Pm David Hussey proved again that no matter what the surface is like, he can make runs. He batted so much better than any other batsmen in the game.

Cameron White was played back into form by a weird Marcus North decision to not bring on the quicks.

The commentators were going nuts about it, I have to agree, Tait and Malinga have gotten him with full quick straight ones recently and Edmondson is their side just for such an occasion.

One of White’s sixes has just entered Orbit.

Earlier in the day, the Vics bowled really well to restrict the very talented warriors batting line up to only 220 odd.

Cameron is finally bowling well again, in the words of my father, he was robbed of the plumbest LB’s and then got a shocker when he was batting.

Pattison did well again, which just proves that if you give a Victorian a blue top and tell him to bowl quick and he will do a good job.

The Vics were very very very lucky to win this, especially with Crosthwaite and McDonald making some very odd decisions at the end.

They have played some ordinary one day cricket this year and still look like making the finals.

That makes me happy.

No royal commission required

Memo to all fans of Victorian Cricket

There is no conspiracy

There is no selectoral bias

There is no grassy noll theory.

And the CIA has nothing to do with this.

Victoria does not have a player in the Australian team, because at this time there is no spot for a Victorian in the Australian team.

Test wise, only two Victorians are currently in the form to play for Australia, the other three are not quite there.

Future PM David Hussey is in breathtaking form at the moment. But the King Probot Hussey, Pup and Roy are all making runs. Generally selectors don’t drop guys making runs, I have stated my thoughts on Michael Clarke being dropped, but we all know they aren’t going to drop him on my recommendation.

CWB’s Nice Bryce McGain is the other player playing at the level of test match standard. He has two hurdles to over come, one is old agedness and two his lack of a first class record. Is he a better bowler than Brad Hogg, king oath, but he is not at Staurt MacGill’s level either.

Brad Hodge has not had a good year (except for the runs he made against a new texas eleven with 2 fit bowlers counts) and would now be behind Hussey, Katich and Pomersbach in the selectors mind. Plus do we really need more Brads in the side.

Peter Siddle is in good form, but he has only played 3 matches and Doug Bollinger had taken 2 ten wicket hauls this year at roughly the same average.

Had Andrew McDonald replicated last years form he would be very close to selection by now, but he hasn’t due to injury and therefore is down the list. Noffke is in superstar form and would be ahead of him at the moment anyway. Plus he does have red hair.

One day wise we were unlucky not to have a player in the side.

David Hussey is unlucky again, but the only batsman, I repeat batsman picked ahead of him is Brad Haddin, who on his last tour with Australia smashed the Indians everywhere. It is hard to drop a guy who performed so well the last time he played. Domestically Hussey has had the better year, but only marginally. Every other batsman deserves his spot ahead of Hussey at this stage.

Brad Hodge, well he had his chance in India, and he batted horribly. The selectors have picked the player in Haddin who made the runs there. He now finds himself on the list behind Hussey and perhaps even Voges, but Pontings love for the man means he could leap frog them if there is a spot available, especially if it is a top order spot.

McDonald hasn’t been in sensational one day form, but you know who has, Noffke and Hopes. And they were selected because of that fact. Case closed.

Dirty Dirk Nannes & Bryce McGain were the two best 2020 bowlers in the big bash, both are over 30 and one is injured.

If Nannes was fit I would have hoped he would have got a call up for the 2020 game ahead of Hilfenhaus, but he isn’t and there fore not in the side.

This isn’t all bad news, because this is the first Victorian team we have had in quite some time that has had multiple players with a shot of making the main team.

I didn’t even mention Cameron White or Aiden Blizzard, one who has played and one who in the future could be a chance.

But let us not be whiney little babies, as this means we have a full strength state team to pick from for the rest of the year.

And by then someone in the Australian middle order will be injured and Hussey will be there.

day one

I’m not going to the Victoria game at the Junction oval.

Cause its more than one form of public transport and I’m busy this week.

But I did keep myself abreast of the scores today, which started great until Graham Manou made a ton.

He pretty much put the rubbish South Australian batting line up upon his shoulders and carried it to a decent score.

Manou and Gillespie are the best batsmen in that side, that is so scary for the redbacks.

They ended up at 320 which having been sent in was pretty good, but the Vics wouldn’t be too unhappy.

Then Quiney went out for not much, and Cameron White broke my heart by putting in a night watchman.

If White were a true allrounder he would have said to Hodge, he dipsh1t your job is to bat so get out there and do it.

Poor Nacho Siddle went out to watch for night and saw just the one ball.

So now instead of being a probably 1 for 9, we are a definite 2 for 9 and South Australia think they are a chance of knocking us over.

Damn it.

Oh and congrats to Huss and White for making it to the K-Rudd XI.

rain and bricks defeat vics

I had a long report written form the G today.

I sat there all day, watching the Vics in total control, and then, some careless batting and one really good spell and the Vics lose.

The careless batting was from White and Hussey, maybe careless isn’t the word, they let the game drift, the run rate was only 6 and a half an over, but then Hilfenhaus bowled a top spell that completely dried the runs up.

I say dried the runs up, cause it happened as the rain fell, all of a sudden White and Hussey realised they were a long way behind the par score and started attacking the Tigers.

For 2 overs it was great, they both got some big hits away, and even though I knew it couldn’t last, either by wickets or rain delays it was pretty cool.

Then Hilfenhaus got both of them in one over, and the par score was gone and so were the Vics.

Best of the batsmen was Quiney, it was a shame he got out when he did, because before then he seemed to be scoring at a run a ball without a problem.

Best of the bowling was Siddle, was lively, troubled all the Tassie batsmen and out balled Nannes who is in top form.

McGain took 3 for, not bad for a pensioner, but I have seen him bowl a lot better.

There was a lot more to report, but Hilfenhaus has sapped all of the Victorian spirit out of me.

Adam Benaud

Is Adam Crosthwaite a better commentator than 70 percent of the channel 9 team?

Not only did he commentate, he also sledged whilst doing so.

Somehow this did not win him man of the match as the Vics just held up the Tassies in the last over.

Crosthwaite has always been one of my favourites, so he was always doomed never to make it.

There is still time for him though, I may start to not like him.

Future Pm Hussey held up our batting again (and stole the MOM from X), although in 2020 you really only need one big score and a bunch of 20 odds.

Good to see Cameron White back, looked like he hadn’t held a bat for a while, then he put one a dozen rows back.

Cricket With Balls Own Nice Bryce McGoo was all but unplayable.

If Hogg gets suspended, misses through his finger injury or gets dropped, McGain must be a huge chance for Adelaide.

They better pick him soon, he just turned 50.

If the Vics can beat South Australia they may have just booked themselves a ticket to India.

They can catch up with Ian Harvey while they are there.

I didn’t get to the game tonight, had the choice, but due to no show friends and the fact I wanted to see Will Smith kill pseudo zombies I didn’t make it to the ground, but I did see it on the telly.

But there were 2 funny moments from the sunday night game i forgot to mention.

We got there a little early and saw the Vics in the nets. I flashed my boobies at McGain, but he wasn't impressed. But we saw Andrew McDonald try and hit Quiney out of the nets, then when he missed it, he asked Quiney where it had gone. Quite funny.

The biggest cheer of the night was for Australia's victory. All the players in the middle turned to the crowd wondering what the hell was going on. Blizzard looked particularly confused at the yell between overs.

the slaughterhouse

This Bushranger tour of the Gabba has been a blood bath. (no pun intended)

First Dick Pound kidnapping Ashely Noffke just as his transformation to superhero was complete.

Then Greg Shipperd breaking Andy Bichel’s hand with a Victorian vice like grip.

Now Lee “where has he been” Carseldine decides to strike back at the vics by breaking our Cameron Whites foot.

It’s really not safe to be an allrounder at the gabba these days, Watson, Noffke, Bichel and White all succumbing to injuries.

While all this was happening the vics fell apart, the all to common site of Hussey, Hodge or White saving them did not occur and the rest did not step up.

John Hastings whose name rings no bells for me at all, made a good debut with the ball taking 3 for 50.

Shall be interesting to see how the vics travel without white at the helm…

Player Profile Cameron White

My player profiles aren’t like those prissy ones you read in official match day programs.

This one is filled with my observations, right, wrong and otherwise. I’m not going to over stat you or dwell on what his child hood coaches or Terry Jenner might say.

Batting.

Like most tall batsmen, can look awkward when not in great touch. Works his way into an innings well. I always feel like he gives you a chance if you attack the stumps early on. Once he is on song he looks like an ancient Greek warrior, and really it is only his confidence that gets him out. He bats like an all rounder, similar to someone like Freddy Flintoff. This is a strength and a weakness.

He makes breathtaking 70’s and 80’s. He needs to make great 130’s, hell completely awe inspiring 200’s would be better. Can look a bit odd playing a short ball, but it does not seem to be a weakness. Hits the ball as hard as anyone in the world. That six off Dan Cullen a couple of weeks ago is still travelling. Look he can bat, but unless he averages over 50 at first class level in Australia you’d have to say he’ll struggle to ever make the national side.

Bowling.

I remember seeing him when he first came onto the scene and he seemed to have much better control than he does now. The two things I notice with his bowling are that he bowls way too many legside balls and that good batsmen milk him with ease. The legside stuff is ugly, he is essentially an Aussie version of Anil Kumble, and Kumble hardly misses the spot. White has to do the same. The other one is tricky, Everytime I have seen White bowl to a really good batsmen, Lehmann, Langer, and Collingwood they seem to score off him seemingly at will.

It’s not all bad news though. He has great variation, and when he is bowling well he seems to be able to trouble batsmen. His action does look rushed but I understand he is trying to get through the crease. Even though he is a quick leg spinner he may in fact be suited to the longer form of the game when it comes to bowling.

Fielding.

Great slipper, has good stillness that is the most important thing about being at first slip. In the one day game he may not be as quick as the other fielders, but he reads the game to so well and has such great coordination that he still causes more than his fair share of troubles. Looks ugly, but gets results, I knew a girl like that once.

Captaining.

Probably his greatest strength. Problem is he may never get to show it if he doesn’t start making big scores with the bat. Seems to understand batsmen really well when in the field. He understands the best place to put his field, and when he doesn’t he is willing to experiment until he finds the right mix. Like all bowling captains he doesn’t bowl himself when he should and bowls himself when he probably shouldn’t.

Problems.

Not enough big scores. Ponting doesn’t seem to rate him as a bowler. Ponting doesn’t seem to like his constant advice on strategy in the field. His bowling isn’t good enough right at the moment for international cricket. He is behind Shane Watson, Andrew Symonds, and Brad Hogg. He can’t seem to not annoy Ponting. Good batsmen like facing him.

Plusses.

Has enough talent to be a 10 year player for Australia. Has an abnormally great cricket mind. Is still young enough to work on his batting and bowling. Is immensely respected by his teammates in Victoria. Can hit the ball further than anyone else. Is possibly the best 2020 domestic player in the world. Is a better middle order batsmen than Shane Watson.

The Package.

Would probably be batting number 7 for most countries in the world right now, maybe even 6. But he aint in most countries in the world. He needs runs, he needs maidens and he needs to play a long spell for Australia in the one day game so he can get his feet.

The Uncle J Rod verdict.

He is one of my favourites, however my favourites don’t have good selection records, (Chuck, Elliott, and Harvey)

Australia’s loss is Victorias & Somersets gain.

Will have a long career with Australia but it may not be in the format he wants.